Online Dating: The Follow-up Email - Keeping the Ball Rolling
Online Dating: The Follow-up Email - Keeping the Ball Rolling
You've ventured into online dating cyberspace, sent your introductory email, and the recipient of your attention has responded! This person liked your email and your profile and is now interested in learning more about you. He or she has shared some personal information and has asked you some detailed questions about yourself. The next step for you in this online dating endeavor is to keep the ball rolling. The follow-up email is a great opportunity for you to learn more about the relationship potential between you and your online dating friend. Your goal now is to learn whether you want take this online communiqu?~G to the next level, talk on the phone, and maybe meet in person. Remember these things when you respond to the introductory email and try incorporating the following suggestions when writing your email response.
Respond Within 24 Hours
Responding to the person who wrote to you within 24 hours indicates interest and is a polite course of action. Even if after reading the introductory email and deciding that you do not wish to pursue dating this person, decline politely within 24 hours. Treat this person with the same respect and consideration with which you would like to be treated.
Answer All of the Questions
When you are dating online, your initial 'getting to know each other' takes place in your online communications. Consequently, answering questions is a form of "listening" and how you respond to questions provides the reader with a great deal of information about you. When answering questions, read the questions carefully and take time to answer them thoughtfully. If you don't know, it's okay to say that you don't know. It's also okay to do some research and let the person know that you looked into their question, which also provides you with a perfect opportunity to ask a question back. When you handle questions in this manner, you indicate to your reader that you are genuinely interested. Genuine interest is a sincere form of flattery.
Take the Opportunity to Explore Common Interests
The follow-up email is a great way to get to know the target of your attention in more detail. The profile that caught your eye and set your heart on fire provides only a glimpse of the likes and dislikes, attitudes and values, and life-style of the person portrayed. The dating profile is a lure. It is a pointed piece of advertising geared to garner attention. Because we understand that people are far more complex than described in their profiles, the follow-up email is an excellent opportunity to learn more about this person that has lured you in. When appropriate, respond to questions with additional open-ended questions. Questions that require a yes or no answer are final and will get you nowhere fast. For example, "Do you like art fairs?" can be answered with "yes" or "no". The better follow-up answer and question is: "You asked me why I enjoy going to art fairs. Well, I guess I enjoy browsing a variety of crafts in a casual environment and talking to the artists. Have you been to any art fairs, and if you have, is there a favorite fair that you like to attend?" Asking this kind of question gives both you and your reader an opportunity to explore common interests. It also provides you with great ideas for your first date.
Don't Forget Safety
Until you have a chance to really get to know someone, especially when using an online dating service, practice safety. It is highly advisable to remain anonymous until you have had a chance to get to know the person with whom you are communicating. Be realistic and practice common sense. If your gut instincts are screaming at you to hold back, honor yourself and honor your instinct. Don't allow yourself to feel pressured to provide any more personal information than you are comfortable giving out. Read the Safe Dating Tips article posted in this website for more information.
Remember the Purpose of Your Online Communication
When pursuing a dating relationship online, it is important to draw your reader out - your goal is to get to know this individual. It may happen that both you and the person with whom you are communicating send several emails back and forth before either of you are comfortable sharing phone numbers and private email addresses. This is okay. Be comfortable with the online dating process and use your email communications as means to establish relational ground rules and to get to know each other in a relaxed and fun manner. Incorporate romance and practice allure. Try not to press for deep personal information upfront and always err on the side of formality in your written communication. Remember that you are trying to lay the groundwork for further communication, and hopefully, that first great date.