Online Dating: Love On The Line: The Pre-Date Phone Call
Love on the Line: The Pre-Date Phone Call
If you meet someone in a bar, you know a fair number of things within the first
few minutes—appearances, behavior, and conversation can give you significant
clues about a person. But that’s all on the surface. Online dating allows you
to get to know someone from the inside out.
As you get to know once another through an exchange of emails, you’ll be able
to tell if this is someone you might want to go out with. It’s a slow dance in
which you gradually reveal your interests, sense of humor, lifestyle, and goals. If
your “conversation” is engaging to both of you, you’ll want to get
together to see if there’s chemistry offline, too. It’s time to plan a
date...and that means making a phone call.
When you make a connection with someone online, shutting down the computer and
picking up the phone can feel momentous. This is the first time you’ll hear the
voice of someone you’ve already been talking with! But keep these key thoughts
in mind and it’ll be fine.
- Prepare to be surprised. When you only converse via email, your mind naturally
creates a voice for the other person. When you hear their actual voice, laugh and
manner of speaking, it might not match with the voice your imagination assigned
them.
- A little awkwardness is OK. You might be nervous—and you’re not
that only one. Your first phone conversation might feel a little awkward as a
result, but that’s OK. If you get the awkwardness out of the way now, when
you get together for a date, it’ll be more easygoing and natural.
- Be flexible. Before you call to make a date plan, have a few ideas in
mind so there’s no uncomfortable “I don’t know, where do
you want to go?” moment. Think of two or three spots you could go to grab a
drink –but be flexible, because your partner may have ideas, too.
- Be a good conversationalist. You can save your charms for the date and just
make this a planning call, but do take a few minutes to make conversation on the
phone. It sets everyone at ease. Ask how his or her week’s going, for
instance, and share something funny or interesting about your own.
- Be smart, and be safe. Don’t give out your address; plan to meet in
public. Meet for a drink somewhere you enjoy, in a safe neighborhood,
but you may want to avoid places you hang out at regularly. And when you get
off the phone, call a friend and let them know the plan.
- Laugh and have fun. This is just a phone call. And you’re just planning
to go out for a drink. OK, sure, it’s a date, but it’s a no-pressure
get-together. You might click. You might not. Be open-minded, and you might find
great love—or a great friend. It’s all about having fun, so be sure to
laugh.