Online Dating: Taking On-line to In-Person: The First Phone Call
Taking On-line to In-Person: Making the First Phone Call
Okay, you have our dating site bookmarked on your web browser and it's become
your first virtual stop of the day. With your beverage of choice at hand, you've
been using this site to correspond faithfully with an individual who has
increasingly piqued your interest. The cyber tête-à-tête between the two of you is
becoming lyrical and fun and the growing allure has you itching to take this
relationship to the next level. You are ready for the next step: making the first
phone call.
Before dating in person, it is wisely advisable to talk on the phone. It is also
wisely advisable to not hand out your phone number until you feel comfortable
sharing personal information. Plain and simple, sharing your phone number is
like opening the door to your home. To avoid potential problems, you might want
to block your home phone number by dialing *67. Understanding this, it's also
difficult to negotiate a first date until you've had a chance to speak with
someone, and you definitely do not want to bypass this step. Taking the time to
speak with someone on the phone can confirm or negate all of the virtual
communication that has transpired between you and this person about whom
you would love to know more. It is an important step in the process of getting to
know someone. The following provides information to help you get the most of
your first dating phone call.
Don't Rush into the First Phone Call
Don't be in too much of a rush to make that first phone call. Before you chat on
the phone, ensure that you have you have used your online communications to
establish relational ground rules, develop a level of trust between you and your
online friend, and understand how this person views their role in a dating
relationship. Obtaining this foundational information is important because the
person who phones first usually accepts responsibility for the course of the
relationship. Traditionally, this is the man's role, but in today's society, roles
and rules are not set in stone and it is acceptable for personal tendencies to
replace traditional norms. For example, many women still do not want to appear
too eager, or, that they are "chasing" after a man and consequently, these
women may be hesitant to initiate calling. Men who are shy or sensitive might
prefer that a woman take the lead and call first. Then again, some people have a
social sophistication that does not allow them to be concerned about normative
rules. If you have used your email communications to learn about the other
person, making the transition from email to a productive phone call is easy.
Establish Proper Times for Making and Receiving Calls
Because of the variety of lifestyles present in today's world, knowing the best
times for making and receiving phone calls is important. If the person you are
interested in dating works at nite, making bright and early morning phone calls
is not going to win you brownie points, especially if you just woke this person up.
Calling a single parent in the middle of the afternoon while he or she is
retrieving their children from school is likewise not going to net you positive
results. With the advent of cell phone technology, the assumption that everyone
is available 24/7 is truly not the case. When communicating online, be sure to
establish guidelines for the best times to speak on the phone, and then stick to
those established times.
Always Talk on the Phone before Meeting in Person
Taking the time to speak with someone on the phone provides you with a wealth
of clues about the person with whom you've been communicating. Humor and
personality are more clearly expressed vocally than in writing and how
something is said is often times more telling than what is said. When sharing
conversation on the phone, it is important to listen to how this person speaks, his
or her ability to respond and carry on a conversation, how they are breathing,
etc. You may find that after speaking to this person for a short time that you
each have absolutely nothing in common, or, you may find that time has slipped
by and that you've both been speaking for hours. Whichever outcome, taking the
time to share conversation on the phone is a cruciall step in the online dating
process.